Have you ever woken up in a relationship (or after you just got out of one) and asked yourself questions like, “When did I forget about me?” Or, “When was the last time I even considered what I wanted or what I needed?!”
This is typical of so many of us. Why? Because, more often than not, it’s what’s modelled for us! We’re taught in childhood, either explicitly or implicitly, to abandon ourselves for love. That you should give away who you are, silence your voice, not pursue your passions, and stay connected to other people over staying connected to yourself. We’re taught not to upset others or rock the boat and, instead, maintain the connection at all costs. Then, we grow up and find ourselves in relationships where we put everyone ahead of ourselves by trying to please everybody, trying to take care of everybody, trying to save people, saying yes when we want to say no… and we continue to repeat these relationship patterns, whether in the same relationship or with different people. Cue resentment and anger — these are great indicators of putting everyone ahead of yourself.
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