To change is equated with action.
It’s equated with doing.
Under this premise, if one of your core values is growth, you’ll confuse growth with having to be working on something constantly.
But transformation sometimes doesn’t look how we think it looks… we see the setback or the relapse as taking us back to where we started… but the truth about change is that it doesn’t always feel good.
And setbacks and triggers and relapses offer windows into spaces that need our presence, not more action.
Addictions aren’t about the substance, they’re about the state the substance numbs us from. The trigger isn’t about the reactivity, it’s about the tender space the trigger inhabits. The relapse isn’t about the “failure,” it’s about the bridge it builds deeper into the recesses of your soul, offering you the opportunity to see yourself swimming in shame and choose love… again and again.
This seems counterintuitive, though, doesn’t it?
“So you’re saying I can create change and transformation by not doing anything?! WHAT?”
Yes. Because if you’re used to doing, and the doing comes from the deep belief that something is broken within you that needs fixing, the doing feeds the belief of brokenness.
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