To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh
I remember when I first read the above quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, I was floored. I had this instant recognition that comes when truth is delivered in words that cut right through the psyche and straight into the soul. Not gentle. Not filled with colourful words. Words that are written to wake us up, not make us feel good. Words that maybe we don’t want to hear, but desperately need to hear to stop us from inevitable destruction. I recognized through Thich Nhat Hanh’s words, that for me to knowingly continue having unhealthy relational dynamics is to consciously choose to continue to wound myself and those l love.
Damn. That’s a big reality and a high level of responsibility.
But it’s true, isn’t it?! And it’s also normal to love without knowing how to love… And it’s also normal to witness dysfunctional relationships and unhealthy communication patterns. Unhealthy relationships are normal. How effed is that?! It takes work, humility, curiosity, passion, and most of all, courage, to face our pains. It is abnormal to take 100% responsibility for our behaviour and see our wounds as being the source of our greatest wisdom and growth.
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