Not attending to your pain will keep you living in your pain.
Even if you numb.
Even if you disassociate.
Even if you doom scroll.
You are running from what is always there.
But pain isn’t just the experience of suffering that comes with life: breakups, betrayals, illness, job loss, death of those we love, being abandoned, being rejected…
This is how we typically categorize pain. We rank it based on what society tells us… one is more worthy than the other.
But a lot of suffering actually comes from turning away from ourselves. Abandoning, rejecting and betraying ourselves.
The more compassionate version of you. The more graceful version of you. The more boundaried version of you. The more outspoken version of you. The version of you who believes in you… that you’re here for more.
I know you know what I mean. Put your hand on your heart… feel it.
When I was young, society and all the conditioning that comes with being a human had me build a persona that said on the outside, “Everything is good. I’m good. I will never let you see my suffering… unless it hurts so much I have to.”
I can blame all the people and systems in the world… and yet, I’m the one left to clean it up.
I built a life doing what I was supposed to do. I built a relationship doing the same.
I could feel in my heart that I needed to go left, and yet I kept taking a right.
I could hear a voice in my head that said, “You’re going the wrong way! Stop! Stop! This isn’t meant to be your life!”
And yet it was my life. And on the outside it looked fucking amazing. I was engaged to an incredible person. I was good at my job, moving up the corporate ladder. I had a dog, a house, a car. I had incredible friends.
But something more was calling to me.
Can you feel that? When we’re used to turning left when we can feel the call to go the other way, the voice of the soul learns to silence itself… because it knows… that no matter what, you can’t run from it.
God willing, you will end up in your mission, you will end up self expressed, you’ll end up with boundaries, you’ll end up out of that job… or, your body will YELL at you… ”NOW YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE.”
I waited until I had to change.
It was a woman on the internet who I didn’t know, who asked me a question in response to my fear of getting married: “Could someone else love her better?”
Holy fuck. Soul punch to the soul dangles.
I hadn’t been thinking about her… I’d been thinking about me, and how it would impact me. But she deserved someone who was certain about her… and that someone was not me.
So I left… and for the first time I felt a power brewing in my soul. I felt connected to Truth. I felt aligned.
What was born from that pain was a mission… I didn’t know I was being initiated to something more. Something and someone deeper.
I had skated on the surface of life. I was caught in the material world… and that ending plummeted me into the depths of my heart.
How long had I been asleep?
How long had I been numb?
Far too long.
I go through these cycles, as I’m sure you do too…
I forget — my power, my mission, my ability to choose.
I forget — how the Universe works, that miracles exist, that I’m not here by accident.
I’m here to remind you of this. To remind you that you have been called somewhere, towards something, to grow in some way…
Your future doesn’t care about your feelings about the future… it cares that you walk towards it.
The life, love, and feelings you desire are not going to fall on your lap… you must choose your way towards them.
If you don’t, you’ll experience pain.
If you do, you’ll experience elation and joy!
Come join me December 15th and I’ll walk you through a process to bring you both clarity and change. And a 🔥 under your ass.
To the moon MFers. 🚀
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