January 15, 2025

Are Your Wounds Steering Your Relationships?

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I didn’t really know what stepping into my wholeness truly meant until I went through my breakup with Kylie almost 5 years ago. When we split I felt a vacancy in myself I had not allowed myself to feel before. I dove deep into what felt like an abyss of suffering…

The reality was that a lot of the grief I felt was old grief. Grief I had never allowed myself to feel before. I had spent years running from the pains of my heartbreaks, sadness and anger. I ran by filling those spaces with the numbing effects of alcohol when I was single, or a partner who completed me when I was in a relationship.

When we don’t confront our pain we unconsciously relate from it… what I mean by that is that if you don’t attend to your wounds, your wounds will find a way to surface so that you must attend to them. And just like it says in the quote at the beginning — whatever “completes” you must leave you to remind you that you’re already complete.

It seems like a strange lesson from loss, doesn’t it? I had so many breakups when I was younger that did rock me… and/or that I avoided feeling by using whatever numbing opportunity was available. But because I didn’t have the tools or the guidance to dive deeper into my pain, and thereby was avoiding it, my unresolved pain was actually steering my relationships.

What do I mean by that?

Continue reading…

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