Do I want to push them away because it’s my intuition saying that they’re not a good fit? Or is it because I have attachment challenges from when I was a kid?
Is it MY stuff? Or is it just because I’m picking up on something in them and my system is telling me they’re not safe?
Is it my intuition, or is it my hyper-vigilant, hyper-sensitive, anxious attachment?
DAMN… all of these questions and different iterations of these questions really centre around the idea of: “How do I distinguish my wounds from innate wisdom?” As in… can I trust this feeling?!
Well, Mark, can I? How do I know??
First off, let me validate how many people struggle with figuring this out…it’s one of the most common questions I get… and left unresolved or without some strategies, it can lead to you running from great love and safe and loving connections, and running towards people who are not safe, healthy, or capable of taking responsibility for themselves and their behaviour. In essence, we can end up living an unhealthy life, and even worse (in my opinion), we are left feeling like we can’t trust ourselves or what we feel…
So, let’s dive into how to begin to differentiate between these feelings, and some strategies you can use to learn along the way:
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