Relationships require compromise, right?
I remember hearing this a lot growing up.
And while I think it is true, what is not specified is the difference between compromise and self-abandonment. We have people throwing themselves under the bus in relationships, wondering why they feel sick, depleted, resentful, have auto-immune mysteries, and are exhausted, when all they’re doing is “compromising.” They’re winning a gold star in relational martyrdom because codependency and the sacrifice of self were rationalized through language that shames standing in one’s sovereignty, needs and desires.
It must be noted that this is born from people-pleasing, survival and the fawn response. So let’s breathe some compassion into the pattern while we leave it in the dust of our relational past.
And so, in order to thrive in love, this begs the question:
How the hell do you tell the difference between compromise and self-abandonment?
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