The Difference Between Compromise & Self-Abandonment

Relationships require compromise, right?

I remember hearing this a lot growing up.

And while I think it is true, what is not specified is the difference between compromise and self-abandonment. We have people throwing themselves under the bus in relationships, wondering why they feel sick, depleted, resentful, have auto-immune mysteries, and are exhausted, when all they’re doing is “compromising.” They’re winning a gold star in relational martyrdom because codependency and the sacrifice of self were rationalized through language that shames standing in one’s sovereignty, needs and desires.