“When we are so sure. We can get into such trouble.”
~ Kōshin Paley Ellison
I heard Zen monk and MFT Koshin Paley Ellison say this in his book Untangled. It had me thinking about when I become sure and certain. And I wonder, what are you sure and certain about?
I know that for me, I step into certainty when I’m angry, afraid and/or hurt. I go there when I’m afraid you won’t see my point, or seek to understand. I get certain when I want you to be wrong.
And I know for certain, that certainty blocks connection.
When we’re certain we’re not open. It’s not relational.
And all relationships are innately generative. When we are not curious and open, we make it so the relationship can no longer generate meaning and expansion for us. The relationship begins to die because it is not being nurtured by two beings looking at the relationship as a place that contributes to their growth and perspective.
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