15th September 2025
#475: #475: Parents Have Feelings Too with Hilary Jacobs Hendel 

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Human Connection Specialist, Speaker, Author, Coach, Podcast Host and founder of Create The Love. 
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Summary

In this episode, Mark welcomes back psychotherapist and author Hilary Jacobs Hendel for a profound conversation on emotions, parenting, and breaking cycles of suppression. Together, they explore Hilary’s groundbreaking “Change Triangle” tool and her new book Parents Have Feelings Too, which equips parents to better understand their own emotions so they can support their children’s. Hilary explains why emotions are not “good” or “bad” but vital information, how unprocessed feelings fuel anxiety, depression, and addictions, and why modeling emotional fluency is the most powerful gift parents can offer. Through stories, practical tools, and raw insights, this episode unpacks how embracing emotions—rather than burying them—can transform parenting, heal intergenerational trauma, and create deeper, healthier connections at home and beyond

Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW has a passion for teaching people how to understand and process emotions for healing. She is the author of the international award-winning book, “It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self” and “Parents Have Feelings, Too” . She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor.. You can find free resources plus classes and curricula on emotions and the Change Triangle at hilaryjacobshendel.com.


Discover

0:00 Intro: Hillary Jacobs Handel returns as guest

5:59 Emotions are data, not good or bad

13:23 Using anger constructively with children

18:34 Symptoms of suppressed emotions

24:08 The Change Triangle tool for emotions

29:43 Teaching kids about emotions in school

35:29 Importance of parents understanding emotions

41:15 Healing potential of emotional awareness

47:58 Four C’s: Calm, Connected, Compassionate, Curious

53:07 How the book applies to all relationships

58:53 Life-changing impact of emotional education

1:00:35 Book details and additional resources


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