In this episode, I had the pleasure of chatting with power couple Rainier Wylde and Kristi Born. We discuss how their relationship has evolved through infidelity, relational pain as a potent catalyst for transformation, the beauty of being honest with ourselves and our partner, and viewing ruptures as an invitation to truth and an opportunity to really see and understand each other.
Rainier Wylde is an author, teacher, and speaker. He has embraced life for all it is, celebrating its highs and learning from its lows. Rainier has managed a Fortune 500 company and built businesses; he has also elegantly blown them up, burned them down, and started over from scratch. Studying with Zen masters and Sufi mystics, Rainier founded and participated in neo-monastic communities for many years, becoming a spiritual director to both individuals and groups. He holds a masters degree in psychology and has spent countless hours working with others in navigating the human soul. Through the various positions he has held, Rainier discovered that life must be claimed to hold any worth. His work is to inspire others to live, fully and deeply, in the here and now.
Kristi Born is a marriage and family therapist, relationship coach and teacher. She has worked with diverse populations and a wide variety of age groups. As a graduate school professor and popular educator, Kristi thrills in bringing people together to discuss topics that unleash their power and minimize their shame. She believes in systemic thinking and uncovering how relationships are containers for healing and exponential personal growth. Kristi specializes in the art of couple’s therapy and relationship healing. Through this work, she helps couples create their own designer relationships; conscious and wholehearted partnerships. She finds joy in partnering with Rainier Wylde to use their personal relational journey to help any and every person accept and step into their own power, telling a beautiful story of their own. Together they host the podcast Love Like Hell, exploring the modern landscape of intimacy and union.
03:28 Entering into relationships unconsciously
05:00 When dysfunction is normalized
08:16 Love as a catalyst for transformation
14:23 Fear of knowing your partner’s past
20:45 Why we often jump from relationship to relationship
23:36 Liberation through truth
28:38 Talking about things as they arise vs. burying them
30:10 Ruptures are an opportunity
40:04 How did the community react to the truth?
46:31 Wanting the best for your partner
49:57 Relationships are not risk-free
58:50 Impact of relationship transformation on kids