11th August 2025
#469:How FBI Negotiation strategies can Transform Your Relationships –  Chris Voss

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Human Connection Specialist, Speaker, Author, Coach, Podcast Host and founder of Create The Love. 
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Summary

In this episode, Mark sits down with legendary FBI hostage negotiator and Never Split the Difference author Chris Voss to unpack the art of communication that can transform every relationship. From tactical empathy to the neuroscience of feeling understood, Chris reveals how the same skills that save lives in crisis can deepen connection, defuse conflict, and build lasting trust in love. They explore why compromise often erodes intimacy, how self-talk shapes our relational patterns, and what it really takes to be heard. This episode is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, communication, and relational mastery—don’t miss it.

Chris Voss, known as “The Master Negotiator,” earned his title as the former lead international kidnapping negotiator and head of crisis negotiation for the FBI’s New York City Division. With decades of high-stakes experience, he helped shape the negotiation tactics still used by the FBI today. After retiring, he taught business negotiation at USC, Georgetown, and Harvard, then founded The Black Swan Group to bring these powerful techniques to the corporate world. His best-selling book, Never Split the Difference, reveals how hostage negotiation principles can transform everyday communication, influence, and deal-making.


Discover

0:00 Intro: Chris Voss on negotiation skills

5:56 Romantic relationships and negotiation overlap

11:14 Managing stress in high-tension situations

19:32 Champion’s mindset in relationships

24:24 Responding to bids in relationships

29:04 Changing negative relationship patterns

34:26 Mirroring techniques in communication

38:48 Similarities between hostage and romantic negotiations

44:25 Curiosity as rebellion in today’s world

49:55 Never split the difference in relationships

53:56 Women’s negotiation retreat and resources


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