Aug 29, 2022

The Best Relationship Advice You’ll Hear Today with Jeff Guenther, LPC

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Attachment Theory, Dating, Forgiveness, Infidelity, Red Flags, Relationships


I’m super pumped to be joined by Jeff Guenther, aka @therapyjeff for today’s episode. I’ve been watching Jeff distill complex information and break down relational challenges online in such a consumable and digestible way for some time now, so to sit down with him today and go deeper into allllll things romantic relationships is an honour.

Jeff Guenther is a licensed professional counselor in Portland, Oregon. He’s been a therapist since 2005 and his practice focuses on both couples and individuals. These days, he spends most of his spare time making one-minute videos for TikTok and Instagram, and more in-depth content on Patreon. Consider following him on all the platforms for relationship advice, tips, pep talks and other resources to maximize your mental health.


  • Green flags to look for on a date
  • Why knowing your own red flags is essential for a healthy relationship
  • The best time to ask “what are we?”
  • When it’s okay (and can actually benefit your relationship) to crush on someone else
  • Red flags to watch for when you crush on someone else

00:00 Intro

01:48 Starting an online presence

05:05 Back to (relationship) basics

06:08 Blaming your parents

08:00 Do you need to forgive in order to heal?

11:30 Stop talking shit about your ex

13:15 Know your own red flags

16:44 Assuming good intent

20:20 Asking for reassurance

26:56 Actions vs. words

30:45 Having needs is sexy

35:21 Anxious/avoidant attachment

37:54 Having a crush on someone while in a relationship

51:07 Red flags when you have a crush

53:10 Thinking relationally