Today I’m honoured to be joined by Stan Tatkin: PsyD, MFT, clinician, author, researcher, co-founder of the PACT Institute and all-around relational ninja. Stan’s ability to help couples navigate the often tricky waters of relationships is truly unparalleled, and in this episode, you’ll understand why. Join us as we discuss attachment theory, the leading causes of breakups and, ultimately, how to co-create a thriving, lasting relationship.
Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is the author of We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship Rx, Wired for Dating, What Every Therapist Ought to Know, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships, and the upcoming, In Each Other’s Care.
01:10 Stan’s background
02:57 Why we choose who we choose
10:30 Two main reasons relationships don’t last
18:02 Attachment theory & why we stay
26:29 Purpose-centered love
34:42 Creating a relationship that survives and thrives
41:32 Relationships are a team sport
48:16 Prioritizing repair
54:10 Avoid working on each other; only the problem