Dec 5, 2022

How to Create a Lasting, Healthy Relationship with Dr. Stan Tatkin

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Attachment Theory, Conflict, Interdependency, Relationships


Today I’m honoured to be joined by Stan Tatkin: PsyD, MFT, clinician, author, researcher, co-founder of the PACT Institute and all-around relational ninja. Stan’s ability to help couples navigate the often tricky waters of relationships is truly unparalleled, and in this episode, you’ll understand why. Join us as we discuss attachment theory, the leading causes of breakups and, ultimately, how to co-create a thriving, lasting relationship. 

Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in the US and internationally. He is the author of We Do, Wired for Love, Your Brain on Love, Relationship Rx, Wired for Dating, What Every Therapist Ought to Know, and co-author of Love and War in Intimate Relationships, and the upcoming, In Each Other’s Care.


  • Why we choose the partners we do, and why we default to certain behaviours while in a relationship
  • Two main reasons relationships don’t last
  • The non-negotiable habits of couples in strong, healthy relationships
  • The mindset shift couples need to make for their relationship to survive and thrive

00:00 Intro

01:10 Stan’s background

02:57 Why we choose who we choose

10:30 Two main reasons relationships don’t last

18:02 Attachment theory & why we stay

23:24 Interdependency

26:29 Purpose-centered love

34:42 Creating a relationship that survives and thrives

41:32 Relationships are a team sport

48:16 Prioritizing repair

54:10 Avoid working on each other; only the problem